Height Comes Before a Fall

Of course all this is purely theoretical, but IF you suffer from a mild form of dyspraxia during, say, PMT, that causes you drop, fall over or bump into any object within a 5 metre radius, and IF you have to run a workshop for some mildly disinterested secondary school students during said phase of PMT, and IF you have an inferiority complex relating to being shorter than people who are not yet through puberty, and IF said inferiority complex leads you to don a pair of rather splendid heels so the charming 14 year olds won't tower over you MAKE SURE YOU DON'T TRY AND WALK UP STAIRS IN FRONT OF THEM CARRYING LOADS OF STUFF.  I can't stress this strongly enough.  Because obviously, theoretically, you will fall over, and then you won't need to worry about them not respecting you because they're all at least a foot taller than you.  Oh no.  You'll have made yourself look like a tit without them even having to THINK about your diminutive stature.  And you'll twist your ankle.  You idiot. 

Quandry.

I'm conflicted. This morning I was told that I looked beautiful by a stranger. He was wearing a coat tied in the middle with string and was hunched protectively over a can of Special Brew (unnecessarily I feel as who has the wherewithal to steal 'premium lager' at 10am?).

Punctuation Stations

What makes me uncomfortable?
Tight jeans. Tentative silences....
Public performances.
But nothing makes me twitch and itch and shift in my seat
Like a BIG EMPTY SPACE where an apostrophe should be.
An involuntary spasm
For the missing punctuation,
Yes I care about the commas
(I also like alliteration).
I want to be
Swaddled by semicolons;
Hugged by hyphens -
A brought up short by a fat full stop.
Like notes on a score
These insignificant specks that tell words how to behave
Have made me their slightly obsessive slave.
The pleasure that I treasure
In the meter and the measure
Gets its confidence from colons
And brackets make it brave.